So for my new job I need to know some general sign language... unfortunately I am useless to the kids as I only know the ASL signs for dog, cat, lunch, and lesbian...don't ask me why I know lesbian...I just do. I don't even really know the ASL alphabet...But today I had to Sign the words cat and dog so many times that I have had pets on the brain.
I have never had any real pets. I
have however had some strange occurrences with animals. Growing up I always
wanted a dog. Oh how I dreamed of having a dog to look after me and be my best
friend. To have a dog to curl up with on the couch with and be a watchdog if
bad people ever entered the house. How tremendous to spend a day with my best
friend running around the park and playing fetch. I really do like dogs.
Yet, I could never be a dog owner.
I am in no way, shape, or form responsible enough to handle pets. It is a
horrible trait. As I said in the about me section I dreamed of having a dog
named “Basil” (like the herb). I wanted pets all my life and I would see people
with their pets and be like, “sigh, I want that!” Then, what makes it better is
the fact of how I would at one point have really taken any pet. Yet, once again
I could never handle the responsibility.
Here are my feelings on different
animals as pets
-Dog: adorable, my ideal pet, furry and fun
-Cat: Definitely not for me however to each there
own. I do think some are adorable however. Unfortunately, when I get near them
I might as well just have it lie on my face and scratch away. I am crazy
allergic. Plus I feel with cats, some are just flat out evil.
-Gerbils/ Hamsters: rat, rat, rat, rat, rat, rat,
rat….rat.
-Snakes: YOU OUT OF YOU DAMN FREAKING MIND!!!!!!! It
is a snake… have you never seen the Discovery Channel! I one time watched a
snake swallow an entire alligator on a Nature Channel special. I freaking can’t
even believe my ears when someone owns a snake. I mean come on! On the news one
time, there was a story about how a man would sleep with his snake next to him
and the snake would cuddle up with him and he thought it was adorable. Until
one day the vet told him that the snake was cuddling up to him so the snake
knew how much he would have to swallow whole.
-Birds: The jury is out on birds. I don’t dislike
them, but I don’t like them to much either. I feel like I could not really be a
“bird person”. In my opinion, I feel like you have to be a certain kind of
person to own a bird or a parrot. Like a pirate, or a gypsy, or Shakira. They
are however very beautiful.
-Lizards/ Frogs: not for me, huge reminder of High
school biology dissections
-Fish: Gold are fine, anything else to me are hideous.
Plus beta-fish…they are legit the psychos of the fishbowl world.
The pets I have had throughout my life have had a few common
traits.
1) Most
my pets have been named after Italian Painters/ Ninja Turtles
2) Those
that have not been named after Italian Painters have either been named “Peter”
or followed the following formula: “Type of Animal” + “y” (for example, “fish”
+ “y”= fishy)
3) They
have not lived long
So my life according to the few pets I owned…
At the age of five my mother came home with a goldfish.
I forget what the thing was named (more then likely Peter). I loved that ONE
day we had with that goldfish. Yes, you read it right little “Goldy” lasted
only ONE day. You see, my family tried making an exotic display by putting
Goldy in a washed out Carlo Rossi wine jug bottle. Along with some stones and
shrubs and a decorative bow.. it was so very Martha Stewart approved. However, my parents did not wash it out well
enough and there must have been some residual wine in there because little Goldy
began swimming all “willy-nilly” and bam!! Upside down. Little Goldy drank
himself to death. |
| Goldy hit the bottle a little to hard... |
I had a bunch of random wild turtles. Michelangelo, the one I really liked, would do things on command and he was very smart...so smart that my grandma took him to the flee market and sold him for a hefty sum.
One time a deer got caught in our batting cage...I am counting him as a pet because he lived and I named him...my 4 hour pet deer friend...
I did grow up on a farm however so we had chickens, sheep, and other livestock...but they do not count...
WELL...need to start thinking of my next few posts...tomorrow I am going to try sneak writing one at work...good luck to me and happy...
WINE WEDNESDAY!!
CHEERS! SALUTE! CHIN CHIN!!
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