This Post Seems long...but it is mostly empty space and pictures...enjoy!
Ok, firstly…although it happened a few days ago…Rest In Peace the Lovely Donna Summer (December 31, 1948 – May 17, 2012). You were an amazing talent and you will be missed greatly. Your music was incredibly upbeat, catchy, fun, and completely awesome. You were the inspiration for many one person basement funky disco dance parties. Not to mention…if anyone does not remember the Family Matters episode where Donna Summer plays “Aunt Oona from Altoona” I recommend you try and find it on YouTube or catch it online…she was hilarious and her character still makes me laugh! (Aunt Oona from Altoona…sigh…the perfect use for a fat suit)
Ok, firstly…although it happened a few days ago…Rest In Peace the Lovely Donna Summer (December 31, 1948 – May 17, 2012). You were an amazing talent and you will be missed greatly. Your music was incredibly upbeat, catchy, fun, and completely awesome. You were the inspiration for many one person basement funky disco dance parties. Not to mention…if anyone does not remember the Family Matters episode where Donna Summer plays “Aunt Oona from Altoona” I recommend you try and find it on YouTube or catch it online…she was hilarious and her character still makes me laugh! (Aunt Oona from Altoona…sigh…the perfect use for a fat suit)
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| Aunt Oona...from Altoona! |
Secondly, I need to apologize readers…I know I have not
posted in the longest time…it might be five days now…but my plummeting number
of readers and people unsubscribing is punishment enough…but don’t worry I have
good reasons for my absence so come back to me readers!
Firstly…holy crap, have I been sick with the weirdest-nothing-none-symptom-filled
with symptoms type of illness…yes…I was sick…felt sick…body ached…fever…but
nothing else. Then the cough came and I have not slept…and then I went to the
doctor and the doctor started feeling my spleen and stuff and saying stuff
about my spleen…and then I got bit…and my arms are injured and GOSH…long
freaking story short…I have been sick! I am however on TONS of meds…a whole
SACK load…and with this SACK OF MEDS I feel much better!
Thirdly, CONGRATULATIONS
TO MY BROTHER SILVIO TORRE!!!!! Silvio Torre, not
his real name, graduated with highest honors from Medical School and I announce
it to you internet…DR. SILVIO TORRE will be THE BEST DOCTOR EVER! So my life has been consumed with dedication and
praise to him and it has left little time for typing up my rants. This
dedication to my brother involves planning a party and buying a gift and trying
to ration my clothes so he can look nice and I don’t look better then him at
the graduation ceremonies (it happens sometimes…we have argued…he was tired of
people wondering who was older so I kinda have to dress “younger” then him…it
never works)
Fourthly, let me repeat…CONGRATS
TO MY BROTHER DOCTOR SILVIO TORRE!!!!
AUGURI SILVIO!!!
AUGURI DOTTORE!!!
Fifthly, I have just been tired…I pass out at night midway
though a post ranting about whatever.
Ok, so that is just the short list of reasons of why I have
been a "jackass" and have not written on here in a relatively long time (especially
after conveying time and time again the dedication that I would give to this
site). However, rest assured readers, over the weekend I did not do much
that is of any interest to write about…
Anyway, the Torre family never has parties (we stopped
celebrating birthdays when I turned ten) or really goes out into public so
planning something in an actual
restaurant has been one of those “hellish Italian ordeal” type of things. For example, last night my mother got an
overwhelming sense of guilt that she was not cooking anything for graduation day
and ended up making a practice pork roast…we then all ended up screaming about
the practice/safety blanket pork roast...
I said I would pay for
the party as a gift to my brother (this also means I get to keep the watch I
bought for him originally…ehhhhh)
I really am sooooo amazed at my brother’s achievements…him
and I are polar opposites while still being mirror images of each other. He was
the “Sporty, Smart, Quiet, and Brilliant” one, and I was the “Conartist, Street
Smart, and Quick Witted” one. Ask around
town and people still don’t know that there is actually two Torre boys...for
years people thought we were the same person…
A few “normal” conversations when my brother and I are
introduced to people:
Parents: Do you
remember our sons Silvio and Matteo?
Parent’s Friend:
WAIT, you have two sons?!?!
Or the ever classic,
Parents: This is
our son Matteo…
Parent’s friend of
about 10 years: Wait, who is Matteo?...I thought you had one son…
BUT THIS IS HIS WEEK (hooray)…and next week will be his week
(hooray)…and probably the week after that (hooray)…but gotta love him…plus the
coming days involve Costco cake!
Anyway, So while sitting through the graduation today I
realized one of two things.
1) I am going to go back to school and earn
something important!!
2) I
want to give a awe inspiring speech to a group of teenagers or college kids at
a graduation!
Two achievable goals that I am adding to the bucket list!
Alright, so the Torre Brothers have always had the woooorst
graduation days ever. We have never had a beautiful day EVER for any of our
graduations
So readers, I present to you the...::drum role::
Graduation Crap Day Score Card:
>>>>Silvio’s Graduation Score Card:
- 5th Grade Graduation- Sunny during the morning which gave hope, then thunder stormed with heavy rain
- 8th Grade Graduation- Thunder stormed with a Bolt Lightening warning
- High School Graduation- Rained all day…stopped for half the ceremony…then continued when everyone put their guard down
- College Graduation- TROPICAL STORM/ HURRICANE…lights went out knocking out the Air Conditioning…ceremony had to be moved into an abandoned basement…streets flooded…water everywhere
- Medical School Graduation- Rain Rain everywhere…
>>>>Matteo’s Graduation Score Card:
- 5th
Grade Graduation- Extreme Heat advisory, then it began to storm…so
much lightning and thunder
- 8th
Grade Graduation- Extremely Hot and Extremely wet…it then became immensely
dark and rained for 3 days
- High
School Graduation- OMG this could be the best one yet, First it rained…and
they began moving everyone from the outdoor ceremony into the indoor gym
where they were not allowing the elderly due to EXTREME HEAT. Then
it stopped raining and the ceremony was once again moved outdoors again…Then
a bolt of lightning shorted out the sound system and no one knew what was
going on and we had no mircophones…then as soon as they called my name to go up and get my diploma…IT
BEGAN TO FUCKING RAIN AND HAIL!!! ALMOND SIZED HAIL! BOTH AT THE SAME TIME…IT
RAINED and HAILED! IT “RAILED”!!
- College Graduation- Rain…Rain…Thunder…Lightening...Moist-ness
As you can see Mother Nature raised that bar high…however being
that I am going back to school I have no high expectations for a any future Graduations.
Ok Last thing…Here are some Graduation Tips:
1) No
one looks good in the hat…
2) Before
Commencement and during the ceremony the tassley thing is worn on the right
side of the hat, then flipped to the left…anyone that says otherwise is a Liar!
3) It
is perfectly acceptable to pretend to be a wizard…
4) No
one truly sees what is going on with your legs…the graduation gown is long…plan
pants accordingly…ALSO it is like wearing a blanket…it will get hot…dress accordingly.
5) Make
friends with your neighbors. Having conversations and pointing out all the
funny names you are bound to hear will make the experience more bearable.
6) If
you get your gown a day before or so…take pictures at home…make a mock set up…I
kept losing my brother today in the sea of everyone wearing the same thing.
7) Graduations
have long speeches and a lot of walking. And while that is all well and good,
you will be bored for the entire ceremony, excluding 10 seconds you are on stage.
8) If
you want to waste a good chunk of time, search for your family in the crowd.
It’s like “Where’s Waldo”!
WELL BACK TO THE CELEBRATION!!
CHEERS, SALUTE, CHIN CHIN!!!
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