Sunday, September 23, 2012

POST NUMERO 32: The Leasing of Furniture


Alright so,
Firstly…I came to the realization last night that I never used a GOOD friend's code name in really any post...so to make up for it.... I am going to just write it 10 times…so she knows I care:

Judie Judie Judie Judie Judie Judie Judie Judie (not even her real name)

Tonight I went to Judie and Lens house and OH BOY! What a fun time. Whenever we get together it is always a fun time (reread the post about going night swimming down the shore and how we were almost “naaaaked and arrestedddd” ). There was a tornado warning and it stormed like a bitch. I drove 20 miles an hour and while stopping into the liquer store to buy supplies for the evening the cashier asked me what the weather was like outside (I was so wet and windblown that my clothes were see through)

Anyway, a few hours with them always does the mind good and I always learn many things…
Firstly…how nice it is to reconnect with old friends…so I saw a friend I have not seen since last year around this time…it is not that we have not tried to get together but her and I have not exactly had the easiest of schedules to incorporate “friendly bonding/bitching time”. Her name is Zucchini (this is a COMPLETE codename…basically, being that I suck with names, the first time I met her I completely and totally forgot her name…a name that is mighty exotic and amazing…so I thought she said Zucchini and I referred to her as such for months until I was finally corrected). Anyway she is kind of awesome and I just enjoy her company…So readers…I challenge you to go and find a friend and reconnect and just go for it because it is a fun fuuuuuuuuuun time.
Secondly... So amongst the group we get into meaningless conversations about growing up…tonight’s conversation revolved around an obscure financial burden that comes along with growing up. This obscure financial burden revolves around, “Leasing Furniture”.
I understand why people do lease furniture.
I have never leased furniture nor do I think I could because I need the security of knowing the couch I accidently keep drooling on is completely mine. However, it was hilarious hearing Judie, Len, and Zucchini swap stories. I have heard of leasing cars but NEVER furniture (Damn that fucking “life bubble” I grew up in). Do I really want to be paying off an ottoman for the rest of my life. So, how do I explain leasing furniture in my opinion…alright so I think leasing furniture is fine but what the real issue is (and we decided this amongst the group) is the hilarity of having to pay the bill. I mean think about it…you go and get the mail…you look through it…phone bill, cable bill, water bill, electric bill, and then you come to the envelope that tells you that the pillows on your reclining Lazyboy sectional are not technically yours yet or paid for yet. Think about it readers…all those bills and then the cherry on the top of the sundae which is a bill detailing the pending price of the object more then likely your ass is sitting on at that moment. I don’t know why I find it so funny. Plus, think about this…you can’t make the payments…what happens next…the furniture store comes and repossess a couch…CRAP…where will I sleep when I have arguments with my future wife (psh…we all know I am dieing alone and now I am also dieing couchless...). I feel like I need to create a Mafia to enforce the rules of leasing furniture…a secret underground taskforce to make sure people are paying off their couches, tables, and beds.
I picture the people dressed all in black coming to the door and saying things like, “ You didn’t pay this month…and if you can’t pay for the couch…then you're getting the ouch"

Cheers! Salute! Chin Chin!!
More Posts coming Soon!!

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