Alright, so I KNOW this has happened to everyone…don’t even
lie readers because even if it has not…then be prepared…something horrible is about to happen…
I warn you readers…this post will make normal bodily
functions feel awkward…immensely awkward…so Readers Beware
Ready:
Think about how you breath…is it slow?…is it loud?…does it
make a slight whistle noise when you exhale?…Do you breath out of your mouth or
your nose? How big of an inhale do you take?...Does you chest move up and down
a lot, or a little?
I don’t know…but now that I have made you aware of your
breathing…you can’t figure out how to get it out of your mind!
Some of you are now wondering why is your breathing “happening like that!”
Some of you might now be breathing harder or trying to slow
the pace…
Some of you might just be holding your breath and panicking…
Or, some of you might do what I did…which is forget how to
breath!
I am doing it right now! UGH, my mind has fallen victim to
my own writing…
Alright, why am I writing about this…well, because yesterday
at church I became completely aware of my breathing and I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT!
No joke…I was horrified…sure I was probably just being crazy…but
I just could not stop what I thought sounded like a mixture of a Vuvuzela and a
Light Breeze…
Ok, now, stop thinking about your breathing (if you can)…inhale..exhale…calm…
I was so embarrassed during the mass...I just could not
control the idea of “breathing normally”…My brain had went into overdrive to
screw with me and then (from what I could remember) I began to pant like a dog…then
I couldn’t remember how to breath at all…(which REALLY made matters COMPLETELY
worse!)
Now that I know some of you can compare or relate…what else
is comparable to the “Noticing your Breathing” awkwardness?…An awkwardness
syndrome caused by our brain's ability to act independently with the sole purpose of
messing/screwing/fucking with us…
So here are some other examples of Brain Treachery:
The moment when you realize how you actually walk. This one
is difficult because many factors come into play and can be perceived as awkward
while walking. Next time you stand up take notice of such factors as: Does your walk appear to others as a constant running pace?...Does
it look like your hips are running away from the rest of your body? Do you walk
on a tilt or perhaps parts of your body lag behind? Do you take tiny or big
strides? Do you flail? Do you swing you legs like a puppet? Are you the person
who accidentally matches the pace of whoever is walking with you or accidentally
creates a new pace…It is very strange…but the next time you walk…suddenly (because
of your mind and perhaps this blog post) you might become aware of what your
legs are doing (I love my walk…my hips are everywhere…but then again…what else
is new)
Another one of my favorite examples (and by favorite I mean…one
of the top examples I am horrified of) is what does your “listening face” look
like. We all have a “paying attention”
face…the one we slap on in class when we are trying to look interested. Yet,
few know what their face looks like when they read or if one is just standing
idle…does your mouth gape open…do you squint…do you look ridiculous… Think of
it…the next time you stare off into space…what does you face look like when you
don’t remember your face is there. I have witnessed my own idle face on
accident…it was not a good look…picture a face consisting of an “open mouth,
angry wide eyes, and a whole lot of eyebrow at varying hieghts” all while still
having a complete blank expression.
I just…I don’t even know…Welcome to the Way the Brain gets
back at you for all those thoughts and actions you think go by the wayside…
 |
| SCREWING YOU OVER ONE THOUGHT AT A TIME!!! |
Anyway...just wanted to write something...
More Posts Coming Soon
Lots of feedback and emails I have to reply to!
CHEERS, SALUTE, CHIN CHIN!!!
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