POST NUMERO 28.5: Email from a Fan, and the Difference an "O" makes...

OH! Fun story…While checking the email associated with “Tales from the Bottom of a Shot Glass”  I stumbled upon a very angry and anonymous email from a reader whom complained that I was very ____________ in the way I write (I left it blank because you will see the word I want to write below…can’t spoil it)…here is the email:

“  Youre blog is so Emu an stupid. You rite like Emu Trash! Why do you have to be Emu! I am stopping reading cause all your post the same Emu shit. Why do you write? You should stop writing so Emu and write interesting storys. Your blog sucks an Emu writing is bad.

xxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com  ”

HOW CAN I RESIST NOT SHARING THIS!!!

I mean it is tremendous...

I need to find a way to reply...

So, I, in my ability to not be able to reply due to the anonymous quality of the email (and believe me...I tried...I tried reeeal reeeeal hard) will do so in this fashion…so here I go:

Dear Reader,

Oh yes, I apologize to you, o random reader, for the occasional “emu” post. I myself, shudder when I read the underlying angst of how “emu” I can be. Rereading my posts I truly recognize the dark underlying tones when writing about topics such as the Sloppopotamus, and partying. Perhaps that’s a sign of my growing maturity? Perhaps it just shows that I am not grown enough? Perhaps it shows that I write most my blog posts in between commercials or bites of food? PERHAPS, it shows that one night I decided to start a blog in hopes that I can one day have fame, fortune, and an assortment of fine cheeses filling my refrigerator. Either way anonymous reader…I must point out one thing…

THIS IS AN EMU!!!:

However, with the amount of times you called my writings a word describing the native flightless bird of Australia I have come to believe that you did not mean to write that word…perhaps you meant to write “Emo”…perhaps you did not…I would love clarification…until then let me teach you somewhat about the Emu

The plural of Emu is Emus and it is a common mistake to spell them “Emi”or “Emuses.” Emus are soft feathered brown flightless birds…they have thin necks and very thin legs…they are flightless yet have the ability to travel GREAT distances on foot. They run in a very fast trot at an average speed of 40 miles per hour and are mostly nomadic. Emus do not eat great amounts, but, Emus ingest stones, glass shards and bits of metal to grind food in their digestive system. They drink infrequently

So in honesty…I would be proud to be an Emu (except for the Drink infrequently part)

Sincerely,

Matteo Torre

Tales from the Bottom of a Shot Glass Writer

All-Around-Badass

Keep the emails coming…I love the feed back…also Google allowed me to add in a “REACTIONS” tool where you are allowed to click on if you liked the post or not…I would appreciate any reader’s feedback…anyway...the Reactions Tool looks like this

CHEERS, SALUTE, CHIN CHIN!!