So, 24 days left of school
till summer break! I am crazy excited and the weather has already started to
get hot during the mid afternoon. However, with all this damn rain it is like a
sauna outside and regardless of how sick I have been lately, this humidity is
not helping with sleeping.
So, last night I experienced
what might have been and what might be one of the most horrific events in life…something
I’d like to call…”The Buzz By”….dun dun dunnnnn….
What is the “The Buzz By”? Well,
“The Buzz By” is when you lay down on your pillow for sleep…get all comfortable…start
drifting off…and suddenly…WTF!!!, YOU HEAR A BUZZ PASS YOUR EAR!?!?!
To be more exact in the
definition, it is when a Mosquito manages to get into your space and torture
you by buzzing in your ear all night until you are forced to hunt it down like
an angry freaking hippo. It is horrific! They make such a terrible high pitched
noise and you know they are on a hunt for blood. This hunt could be taking
place anywhere as you try and rationalize that maybe, “you imagined the noise”
until it happens again!
GOSH…I shiver to even think
of it…after I heard it…I quickly tossed aside my Snuggie and frantically
searched myself and the room…I found it on my pillow…I am now scared for life!
This is what it was like:
 |
I googled searched a bunch of terms in this post and was disgusted by the results...
so here is another puppy! |
Here are only a few
sensations that match the horror of “The Buzz By”:
1) The “Spider Web Walk In”:
This one is common in the early spring into summer…when all the cute little
silk worm bastards come out and leave silk strings hanging from everything and
letting the unsuspecting public walk into them and then slap, flap, and flail to
try and get them off. It is horrifying because the silk strings always manage
to be completely invisible but produce an eerie hit in the face with an exploding
octopus sensation.
2) The “Was that beauty mark
there before I went into the woods effect?”: Simple…is it a tick…is it not a
tick…did anyone or does anyone do the “Tick Check” when they come inside…I know
I do!
3) The “I killed the bug…Shit,
where did it go effect?!”: This one is great, you are confident you killed the
bug…but when you look…it is gone. Sometimes the worst is when you think you
killed it and it still runs or falls down and disappears into nowhere…except
now it is seeking vengeance.
And one not having to do with
Bugs
4) The “Banana Stare”: The “Banana
Stare” is when you are trying to eat a banana in public without making eye
contact with anyone. THEN SUDDENLY you end up making eye contact and it becomes…just…inappropriate…it
is just freaking difficult to look away and act normal afterwards. In fact,
readers, I challenge you…next time you eat a banana in public…make direct eye
contact with someone and see how that goes over…I promise hilarity and awkwardness
will ensue (maybe even a date, or a fist fight!)
ANYWAY, More blog posts to come…thank you for the private
messages and love…Germany and Malaysia apparently do not love me anymore! Russia
keep reading!
CHEERS, SALUTE, CHIN CHIN!
