Welcome to the weekend everyone!!!! So another week of crap
done! Coming up, a much needed fall week end... So, what are everyone’s plans?!
Come on…I can’t be the only person that believed it seemed like this was one of
those weeks that never ended. What happens now?...How does this work for
some... How do weekend plans come to fruition. In my world I rarely have plans
and usually leave it up to the universe to provide something. Some might call
me “boring”, but, In my defense I know few people who have the extensive arrest
record that I have (TAKE THAT BORING!). Anyway, so what to do this weekend... I
don't know!
So, this may sound funny...but being that I am a “fly by the
seat of my pants” type of guy...or rather, a “fly by the seat of incredibly
overprotective strict parents type of guy”, I sometimes have nothing to do! I
am sometimes greatly effected by this but other times I can shirk it off… it
however takes a new meaning when I am given the “Weekend 3rd Degree” …what is
the “Weekend 3rd Degree”...well it has happened to all of us and It is simple
to define…
Weekend 3rd Degree: Noun, When someone asks you what you are
going to do during the weekend and you are stuck with no response and have to
choose between being vague, admitting you have no life, or lying your ass off. I,
in honesty, don't know how to deal with people who constantly ask the question,
" So, what are you doing this weekend?"
The "Weekend 3rd Degree" happens also when after
someone describes their own amazing and untouchable plans and you are left with
nothing impressive to rebuttal with
Now this is how the “Weekend 3rd Degree” goes for me
Friend: "So, after I go bungee jumping and cure
world hunger I am going to go adopt a neglected koala bear and nurse it back to
health…Matteo what fun and exciting thing are YOU doing this weekend?"
Me: " Oh I am going to
drink "
Friend: "Oh golly gee…that sounds like
fun...what else are you doing?"
Me: "Drinking...."
Friend: "Golly Gee silly, you said that
already...what else?"
Me: "Drink my feelings?"
 |
| We will call this, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday! |
It is usually a back and forth type of thing until the other
person realizes that I am not joking... or I just turn around silently and walk
away...
So, How to deal and live through the “Weekend 3rd
Degree”:
1) Stay
calm…no one but you needs to know you have no life…
2) Be
vague… responses like, “Oh, I am going to
have a lot of fun…” work wonders…but sometimes this might back fire as the
person asking might want details…
3)
Use the switch tactic…send it back to them…As soon
as they finish the question reply back, “WHAT
ARE YOU GOING TO DO THIS WEEKEND!!!”…then casually wait for their response
and act like you care by saying things like, “Oh, WOW, that sounds like TONS of fun!!!”
4) Make
something up…who gives a crap…unless you actually have plans or you might run
into the person who is asking…make something up!
5) Honesty
might be the best Policy…Admitting you have nothing is the first step…
6) Just
say, “Why?!?” in a abrupt,
stand-offish, and defensive manner. Then afterwards say nothing and back out of
the room with out losing eye contact and without saying anything else…
7) Turn
it into a pick up line, “Why Girl, you
want to get together…”
8) Scoff
and go, “HA, my plans are so much better…” then cause a distraction and get the
hell out of there...
9) Laugh
and say, “Me too!” (this could be
awkward being that it might not pertain to you in the least…such as the time my
friend said she was going to the Gynecologist and I responded back, ME TOO!)
10) Kill off a
relative….WHAT?!...don’t really do it…but just say you have to go to a
funeral…nothing can top a funeral…
So those are just a few ways to combat the “Weekend 3rd
Degree”
Anyway, I am sure something will materialize for this
amazing weekend...ugh…everyone enjoy the break…
AND REMEMBER OCTOBER IS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!...so
SPREAD THE WORD AND FIGHT THE FIGHT!!! TALES FROM THE BOTTOM OF A SHOT GLASS IS
GOING PINK!!!”
More posts coming soon everyone!
CHEERS, SALUTE, CHIN CHIN!!!
