Warning…this post will make me sound like a macho male chauvinistic
jackass…or rather…more of a macho male chauvinistic jackass…
I also will use the word Slut A LOT in this post…this word
can be taken in the worst of definitions…but I ask (before everyone picks up
the Pitchforks and Torches) that you get real and realize that my writing is all
inclusive and I don’t take anyone’s crap. We all know or have our own
definition of what the word “slut” means…I refer to myself as a Slut all the
time (actually I call my self, a “SLUT slut sluT Slut Slut SLUT SluuuT…” all
with varying volumes and emphasis…it is like a daily affirmation…hooray…so I
continue… So…I don’t know what you are going to do…but keep reading…I promise
it is a GREAT/ALRIGHT/EHHH/AWESOME post.
AND to those readers who think I am a, “macho male chauvinistic
jackass”…I AM HURT IF you think those words actually are a real depiction of
me! I pride myself on being a gentleman…I REALLY REEEEEEALLY do…I have many bad
habits that might not be part of the traditional definition of the word…but I
am however “gentlemen-esque”.
So, with that being said, I will explain the views on WHY
(although I do enjoy some/most of it) Halloween has become the most “slutacular”
day of the year and why men should not fall for it…and women should not give
into it…
Tonight I will start this post…and I think tomorrow I will
add more in and do a Male version…
Anyway…
So, for the last few years female Halloween costumes have
went from
THIS:
 |
| The Witch on the End is the not wearing a dress to her ankles...how scandalous... |
To THIS:
 |
| SERIOUSLY...I actually had to blur their faces for fear of shaming Wonder Woman more... |
Now don’t get me wrong…I do enjoy the latter…I REALLY DO. But,
things are becoming a little ridiculous for the current and upcoming generations.
If this is the Halloween costume of today…I truly can’t wait for my kid’s to
celebrate Halloween and the acceptable costume will be a single cotton ball and
pasties…
 |
| Rain Cloud Costume..complete with Pasties and Cotton Ball Cloud Thong |
Maybe Halloween costumes for women have become more brazen
(great word) and slutty do to the economy... lack of money leading to lack of
coverage. Maybe at one point or another (being that I do not watch the news or
keep up with current events) there was a lack of fabric and a textile shortage…I
don’t know…but the difference between the times is RATHER evident (In my words,
“Helen Keller Could See that Change”).
I don’t think many would dispute the fact of how It has become
nearly mandatory for women to dress skimpy on Halloween…Walk into any costume
shop and I dare you to count how many (and this is not an eye of the beholder
type of challenge) slutty costumes there are in comparison to none slutty
costumes…Believe me…the sluts will outnumber the nonsluts…and half the packages
will have the word “Sexy” on them…
Now maybe it is not completely the fault of the person…I
understand looking good (I always do) but somewhere a line has to be drawn…And
when looking through the pile of costumes you will notice that the “non slutty”
costumes are kind of depressing (I will write more on this tomorrow)…
So here is some of my helpful advice and just thoughts…for
the lady readers:
1) Revealing
does not at ALL TIMES equal sexy. The point of Halloween is to have fun and put
on a costume to become something that we are not. However, Costumes should be
something recognizable and clever. It should be fun to wear. It should be
something with thought behind it. It should be something understandable
(explanation is fine…but I should not need to bring in NASA if I am trying to
figure out what or who the hell you are). But, in honesty…If I have to ponder for
10 minutes how assless pants, garters, fishnets, glitter, and pasties come together
to form a Wicked Witch Costume then the fun is dead.
2) Sexy
as it maybe (kind of…) to see women running around in Corsets and Lingerie (and
no matter what a certain movie says)…Animal ears are fucking lame as hell…THEY
REALLY ARE!! Putting on some sort of sexy pajamas and then throwing on some
animal ears is a terrible costume. Put some thought into something fun… Plus,
if you are going to do it…start making some original animal choices…I would
totally talk to the girl dressed like a Manatee
complete with large round head and tiny ears (do manatees have ears?) over the
sexy kitty any day…
3) Sluts
- they're everywhere…they really are…so Ladies...how about distinguish
yourself from the pack…Wear something cool that looks like you took pride in
making it…don’t automatically assume the costume is sexy either…some just give
that “hoe-llaween” feeling.
4) OK
here is a HUGE ONE…and one of my Large Pet PEEVES…I admit it…I still watch
cartoons, and animated movies. I love them, I watch them alone, I watch them
when I am hanging out with my cousin or baby sitting, and I watch them with my
class. I just love the characters and the humor and the awesomeness of them…but
wait…what just happened…WHO THE HELL DID THIS!!!
 |
| NEMO NOOOOOOO!!!! |
WHY!…just WHY!!…let us kill the innocence right there…I mean I watched this with
my baby cousin the other day… it just got released...why would someone put sex…INTO
A FISH…A LOVABLE LOST FISH! It happens with a lot of characters and childhood
things…but at least to me…when I see this a part of my childhood dies…
5) Know
your Body…KNOW that People might NOT want to Know your Body…If you know that
people DON’T want to know your body then don’t put your body out there for
everyone to see. Then the flip side is that maybe you want people to suddenly
know your body in a different way…just be ready to be known as the girl who
should have known not to be that girl who did not know…Get it?
To paraphrase (without the use of the word “know”)…If your body is just not going to look good…or if your jigglies are just not going to look good…be honest with yourself…put something flattering on…like a caped costume
To paraphrase (without the use of the word “know”)…If your body is just not going to look good…or if your jigglies are just not going to look good…be honest with yourself…put something flattering on…like a caped costume
6) HALLOWEEN
IS SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY!, It is a "Spooktacular" time…so put your best scare
tactics to work and get a little messy…be a zombie...be frightening...be awesome...
OK, now, I bet my male readers are all scratching their
heads and are ready to beat me to a pulp…and some of my female readers are
cursing me off and going, “I BOUGHT THIS RUBBER BAND AND PASTIES FOR A REASON!”
But I will leave for the night with this last bit of
information…Leave something for the imagination…it is one of those rules I feel
should be printed on the package of all store bought costumes... it should be a
golden rule of Halloween costumes. The girl in the bra and thong with fishnet
stockings really has nothing else to show. As a guy who sucks at math I can
still estimate that I have seen 93.2% of her body, even if she didn't mean to
show that. It is like walking into a surprise party you accidentally were told
about…
ANYWAY, I am tired for tonight…I am enjoying the way this
post is going and I will add more into it tomorrow night…
More Post
Coming Soon!!
Cheers, Salute,
Chin Chin!!
BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH IS HERE and NOW
DO SOMETHING TO HELP FIGHT THE FIGHT!
BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH IS HERE and NOW
DO SOMETHING TO HELP FIGHT THE FIGHT!
