SUNDAY FUNDAY!
Hello Readers!
So it is Sunday, and if you have not realized from my past posts, that
means Church and Cereal!!!
Ok so, today my day started off in a bright way with going
to church and then (without realizing) the church was holding a reception
afterwards!...I love church…but church followed by food I love even better!
Anyway, there was a reception after the mass for an induction of a new deacon
and this reception consisted of a light lunch of numerous different sandwiches
and refreshments. The place was PACKED to capacity and it was amazing to see how
people were lined up well into the parking lot to fill their plates with
various pasta salads, sandwiches, and mini quiches. I repeat, the place was
packed!
However, no worries, I am a professional when it comes to
being able to weave in an out of places in order to get something (In this case
food). No way in hell was I skipping out on shrimp salad sandwiches and turkey
wraps!! So I had to play dirty, I am so freaking good, that by the time people
had even realized…I was walking away confidently with a plate full of food
avoiding and ignoring the line behind me. How? Well let me tell you… here is
some of my golden hints (insert some angelic music/noise)
Mind you these tips go for a lot of events where there are
lines, serve yourself buffet events, free stuff giveaways, or if you need to
just cut in line for something.
I am going to speak in terms of a event such as the one
above where I was waiting in line (or at least supposed to be) for food. These
are important to guarantee you get to the good food before it all runs out (in
other words…these tips can get you the steak as opposed to the vegetable
platter)
 |
| yum...vegetable platter...same thing as steak....kind of... |
1) Just
freaking cut in line: This one is self explanatory, just do it! Most people
won't question it or are too focused on what they want from the table to even
notice
2) Pretend
you know or are related to someone in line…all it takes is a simple
conversation or a “OMG I have not seen you in ages” comment to make it all
work…Here are a few examples of comments to use to ease into a line
-“Hello!, wow you look amazing…how have you been?”
-“Hi, how are your parents doing?”
-“WOW, I have not seen you since “that
time”…remember…wow it was so much fun”
Basically,
If you confuse the hell out of them it works in your favor and you gain enough
time to grab as much food as you can and everyone ends up blaming your “new
friend” for letting you break into the line
3) Don’t
waste freaking time…don’t do it…don’t talk to anyone…ignore everyone…walk in
and get right in line…cut done on time to get farther in line. This should guarantee
you some food
4) Don’t
waste time getting drinks or forks…grab a plate and go right for the
food…people don’t mind stepping aside for you to grab a fork and knife…but they
sure as hell do mind if you step in line for food. Same with drinks…wait till
after you guarantee yourself some food.
5) Start
a new line…at the OTHER end of the table…or on the other side of the
table…people can’t bitch at you because of your extreme efficiency…plus…more
then likely people will join you in the new line and chaos should ensue…use the
chaos to stuff your face
6) ACT
LIKE YOU RUN THE PLACE (all while stealing food)…be the person in charge…pass
out some plates to some people around you…check to make sure the cheese platter
is still filled…just make it look like “you set this shit up…and you will take
this crap down”…people won’t mind if you grab a few sandwiches if they think
you are the person who set it all up.
7) Take
everything…you might not be able to go back and get more…so serve yourself with
a heavy hand…think you can only have one sandwich…take 6…try everything…just do
it and pretend you are getting stuff for others at your table…BUT SO HELP
ANYONE IF THEY TRY AND TAKE SOME OF YOUR FOOD!!!
Use these tips at your next event and have some fun with it.
I will post again later…thank you to those readers who welcomed me back! I
promise (somewhat) that I will try and go back to posting virtually every night.
Anyway…maybe, readers, if you are lucky
RANDOM THOUGHT!....I really reeeeallly want some Sparklers and
fireworks…anyone have any ideas…
Anyway…
CHEERS, SALUTE, CHIN CHIN!!
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