POST NUMERO 24: Sparklers and Shower Drinking!

Firstly, Happy belated birthday America!!  It was a fun family filled day followed by best friend Kayla coming over at night with SPARKLERS!!! I had a major Sparkler craving for weeks and it was all I wanted for that day…sparklers…I love…sparklers…the way they sparkle…the fire!...I wish I had more…but anyway HAPPY BELATED 4^th OF JULY!!!

So, I realized today when looking at my blog that the ads around my words of wisdom (excuse me…let me rephrase...my GENIUS, FUNNY, TERRIFIC, POETIC, WONDERFUL, AND INSPIRING words of wisdom) all have to do with “Alcohol Rehab”. Every single one is about substance abuse… very interesting…so for the next few posts I am going to be trying some new and random posts to see if I can change the ads…or randomly throw in something to see if I can really switch up the ads. Not that I am against the ads…seek assistance if you feel so…I just feel somewhat “kill-joyed” by these adds…especially when I look on other blogs and they have such awesome colorful stuff (although nothing beats the first ad that appeared on my blog for “COCK” the musical)

Secondly, Happy Anniversy Torre Parents!!! 26 Years and still Arguing like typical Italians…I would list a bunch of sappy and beautiful things here but I fell down the stairs earlier when I went to say “Happy Anniversy” to them…so the bruise on my ankle is dedication enough.

Thirdly, Happy Birthday Shelly!!!! Even though it was numerous day ago you are an awesome person and I would list a bunch of stuff about you but I am not going to.

Fourthly, Happy Graduation Jackie!! Just had to say it again!

Ok anyway, 2 great things…2 very amazing great awesome things…Cleanliness…and Drunkeness. I love to be clean. I love to clean. I love to smell nice. I love to drink my drink and drank my drank. Put the two together and you have…DRINKING IN THE SHOWER!

Now readers, I know some of your might have gasped and said…”ALCOHOLISM!” but I am telling you now…try it…it is amazing!  The first time I tried it was in my junior year in college…changed my life forever. The coolness of the drink…the cleaning factor of the shower…the warm cascade of water. Two of my favorite things occuring in unision…cleanliness and drunkenness

OK, so how to succeed in “Shower Drinking” relies on some very basic steps and rules

Number 1) Try to avoid glass and stick with cans…duh… It took a somewhat long time for me to move onto mixed drinks by bringing in the cocktail shaker into the shower and successfully make a drink…I am kidding…but it did take a long time to move onto mixed drinks.  It is hard to keep water and soap out of the drink and still act calm and collected when exfoliating and re-shampooing. It was nice…take a sip…put it down…no fuss. Also avoid glass for the sheer purpose of how it might be hard to explain to people how you stepped on glass when kicking back a few in the shower. My main choice for shower drinking is an old fashioned classic Budweiser in a can (also known to me as “Hillbilly” beer…but I will write about that in another post). Yes, with the canned Budweiser It was great because I knew if I dropped it at least I would not end up in the emergency room.

Number 2) Always remember which hand has the drink..and which one has the soap. You never want to mix up the two…In the delight that is shower drinking you may become completely and totally calm and end up taking a big chug of conditioner (but don’t worry bottles of soap normally come with Poison Control’s number on the back of the label)

Number 3) Do not be a shower Sloppopotamus!!! This is just a calming thing…it is great when done in a relaxed manner, a shower is supposed to be relaxing so keep it calm…not a frat party!

Number 4) Soap does not taste good so drink with care

Number 5) Soap is slippery…CAUTION as sometimes drinking may cause a slippery sensation…the two together might end up in a VERY slippery situation

And finally

Number 6) Enjoy the moment.

RUB-A-DUB-DUB...DRINKING IN THE TUB!

Anyway. Someone pointed out to me that my last two posts have been about Nudity and Nakedness and other stuff….well what can I say…except…HAPPY NUDE RECREATION WEEK EVERYONE!!!!!

CHEERS, SALUTE, CHIN CHIN!!!

more posts coming soon!

The artwork is made by the amazing Kayla again...look for more coming soon...she is brilliant and has an amazing eye and ability!