POST NUMERO 7: I LIKE MY COFFEE LIKE I LIKE MYSELF – BITTER

I LIKE MY COFFEE LIKE I LIKE MYSELF – BITTER

So one time I was drinking incredibly quickly brewed coffee in the teachers lounge at school. Not the best coffee of course, not my favorite Italian Espresso or something fancy…just a nice cup of coffee (caffeine in a Peanuts Mug). So, allow me to recreate the scene, Picture I am sitting there with my coffee cup, not saying or doing anything, just savoring the moment, thinking of my next blog post, and suddenly, the only other person in the room, a fellow employee looks up at me in what appears to be complete seriousness and goes:

Anonymous Coworker: “Looks like that coffee is a little bitter for you…you should add some salt to it…the salt will take away the bitterness...”

I was Baffled...

Ok, so let me dissect this comment…

1)      What the hell was I doing that made this coworker think I was "disliking" the coffee?…Was my body doing something it should not have been?…Was I making a face?

2)      What the hell kind of comment is that to break a silence? Usually, a conversation starts with “How are you today?” or “What is up?” and if a person is going down the random conversation route, make a general comment like “Looks like it might rain later” or “That copy machine is running louder then normal.”

3)      What the frick book were you reading that told you THAT tidbit of knowledge about putting “salt” in coffee…Was it a TV show you watched, or perhaps a morning news segment…

4)      If I as so much think about putting salt in my coffee it makes me a little sick to my stomach and angry

5)      Stop looking at me.

6)      SUGAR REMOVES BITTERNESS!!! AND IT IS COFFEE! COFFEE SHOULD HAVE SOME BITTERNESS TO IT!!!

7)      Stop looking at me.

8)      Was this some sort of insult…was she perhaps hitting one me? ehhh ehhh...

But in honesty…this was what I qaulify as one of those "low points" in social interactions. Was the silence that awful! Perhaps this coworker was holding onto that fact for years and she finally found the perfect moment, the perfect person to share it with, ME!. The comment opened up the Pandora’s Box of stale chit chat and for the rest of my break period I just kept saying hollow YEAAAHs! TOTALLYs! OH REALLYs?!  And WOWs!

Also to go back…What made her say that?…I was so self conscious after she said it and  I finished my coffee in a way that must have made it look like I was in a Folgers commercial. I was making sure that in no way was I registering the uncomfortable nature of what had just happened.

Trying to think if anything happened today…nothing much at all…I shaved my head last night! That might be exciting to some! Also I now have ads on my blog that make me feel important! Hope everyone had a great Manic Monday…it is almost Friday!

CHEERS, SALUTE, CHIN CHIN!!
 

To all my New Folowers From Malaysia, Terima kasih!!

To all my New Followers from Russia, Привет!

To my Followers in the UK.  Thanks and the Olympics should be amazing!

Happy Nurses week to the Lovely Nurse Jackie C., Nurse Jordan M., Nurse Lontai and all the other nurses whom make the world a more safe and awesome place!

Nurses...they are awesome!

POST NUMERO 6.2: Self Done Haircuts and Bonfire Fever

I said I was going to do three...


SO with this that makes three for today!!

Do you have fire building skills? Because I am in the mood for a bonfire! It is way over due and about time for a nice warm night and an outdoor event…my blood is boiling for one. Sadly, it has been wet outside and even if the day is warm it seems to get rather brisk and slightly uncomfortable out by nighttime. The last time I went to an outdoorish “get together” was at my friend Joe’s house a few weeks back. It was a very nice evening with wine and a bonfire. I stayed outside for most the night because it was a beautiful night. Outside with me, around the fire, were two very good friends and we talked about, how German is a harsh yet awesome language, how Europeans are very touchy and hold onto people’s thighs when talking, and also how every church has a relic in their alter and it might be something like a nipple.

Good Memories…this is a crappy third post but I have only a few minutes to complete it and fill my 3 today goal!

WHAT ELSE! OH I HAD CEREAL AND GAVE MYSELF A HAIRCUT!...I usually do fine with self done haircuts but this time I went a little over board and have some very very short parts…but what ever…it will grow back…and I needed to cut my hair short for safety purposes
Sunday Funday was not that exciting this time around! New week tomorrow…

CHEERS! SALUTE! CHIN CHIN!

Oh on a “I have become obsessive” note…for some reason a large white space has decided to wedge itself in between post number 6.1 and 6…I am angered by this and it is causing me to go compulsive and try and fix it…however I am unsuccessful! DAMN YOU WHITE SPACE!!!

Post Numero 6.1: Dirty Piñatas and Being Nice at Work

NEWS OF THE DAY: I am going for three posts today to make up for the lack of them from the last few nights....I will wait till summer comes to be lazy and not post...

Firstly, I am not the hardest working person in the world…I believe that working excessively hard can kill a person…work leads to stress…stress leads to becoming unhealthy…being unhealthy leads to death…death leads to…um…well death.

easy terms:  work = death

I do enjoy working however....starting this new job has already put me into a very stressful daily grind. Doing the same thing over and over again, to a point where I'm really tired and questioning, "WHAT am I doing here?"

One thing that is bothering me is when people say things like…”Psh, you can’t complain…you have only worked here a month!” or “You can’t complain till you have worked here for 9 years!”

Comments like that are a HUGE pet peeve of mine. OH, I WILL COMPLAIN!  I WILL BE WITTY!  I WILL DISLIKE EVERYTHING!! And if I could…I WOULD KICK YOU IN THE FACE!!

So Readers, being that it is a new work week, look around your workplace and take some pity on the “new guy” at work…If anything you have had 9 years (or whatever) to get used to the job, to bitch and moan, and also to get to know everyone.

Secondly, yesterday was Cinco De Mayo (OLE!) and I went out briefly, drank “some” tequila (OLE!)  in a sombrero (OLE!), and then apparently came home and wrote a blog entry about “teeth jewelry” (OLE?) which now that I reread might be offensive to someone who actually does make accessories out of teeth…so if you are one of my good friends or a stranger and you DO make jewelry out of teeth…please never tell me…ever…I don’t even think it would be capable for me to gauge that amount of creepiness and I might just collapse from “Judgement Overload”. When I returned home from the traditional Cinco De Mayo celebration (OLE!) I got into a conversation with my friend Catalina/Kathleen about what we would put into our dream/dirty Piñata…a tradition I have actually experienced:

            Definition:

Dirty Piñata: noun: “plaything” consisting of a container filled with “toys”, and “candy”; suspended from a height for blindfolded adults to break with sticks and blunt objects. (the “ “ make it all the dirtier)

My Piñata would be filled with:

-"little" bottles of Tequila, and various other alcohol

-cigarettes 

-lighters

-gum 

-mints and other candy

-toothpaste and toothbrushes

-gummy bears

-glow sticks

-bubbles

-condoms

-bags of sunchips

-nutella, nutella, nutella, and more nutella

Careful, this piñata is filled with Strippers, Booze, and Bad Decisions

Leave me some messages about what you would put in your Piñata (whether dirty or clean)...would love to know...

Anyway it is Sunday, and Sunday for Matteo means two things…Church, and Honey Bunches of Oats! I am going for a goal of posting 3 things today! Tomorrow Kayla Comes BACK!!!!!!!!!! (so very excited for my cray-cray best friend to come home and also expect some epic changes to the blog because of her genius)
SALUTE! CHEERS! CHIN CHIN!!!

Side note:
Currently talking to my amazingly beautiful and talented British Friend and asked her for inspiration on what I should write about…this is the conversation:
Matteo: Be my inspiration! what should I write about today?

British: yay :D

Matteo: ermmmmm

British: a romance

Isn't she lovely! She is going to be famous someday! However, she obviously does not realize that I don’t have a romantic bone in me (remember from my “about me” post, I have as much game/love as a rain canceled baseball tournament)…I will tell you more about her also in later posts