Tales from the Bottom of a Shot Glass: POST NUMERO 26: Gloddies

THIS POST IS STRAIGHT AND TO THE POINT-LESS
But really it is truly...TRULY...pointless....ENJOY!

When food shopping today I saw something that gave me a huge flashback...
So when I was younger I did not have many friends...I was a strange fat kid who used to fight with trees and I thought I was a dog...(a "what Matteo was like as a child" post will be coming one day...but not now)...anyway...I did not have many friends what-so-ever so I used to make them.
Now when I say "make them" I don't mean in the socially normal way of introducing oneself, playing together, sharing secrets, and doing the whole "friendship thing"...I used to literally make "friends" from rubber gloves...
No joke, I called them my glove buddies or "Gloddies" for short...I thought they were awesome and I named them...there was not a time I did not have one with me or in my backpack. They were my "Show-and-Tell" every freaking time we had "Show-and-Tell".
I was sooooo awkward...but they were my "Gloddies"

Ok, so this was my CRACK growing up...I used to make tons and line them up buuuuuut....and I think this was the point of this post... or maybe I just was this bored...one of these "friends" actually got me in trouble with the cops...YA KNOW, NOT AWKWARD AT ALL!!! The story is burned into my memory...

So years ago...when I was just a child...I went to the local mall with my mother for some back to school shopping (I think I needed to buy some new elastic waistband pants...I was VERY chubby). I of course could not go alone so I decided to invite along a friend...not just any friend...my squishy, sloshy, and jiggly Gloddie. So, we had just entered the store...my mother and I were going up the escalator and I was literally making my Gloddie go everywhere...until BY ACCIDENT the water filled glove popped. The glove exploded and turned into a projectile...water and plastic raining 3 stories down...from an escalator...DIRECTLY onto an unsuspecting Sales Woman. It was horrifying...and all I could comprehend was the sound of a balloon popping...then nothing...then splash...then scream. Needless to say I turned to my mother, shocked and still holding a exploded rubber glove and all she replied back was, "RUN!...I will meet you at the car"...but by the time I got to the exit the cops had already cornered me...I was banned from the mall for a year and my picture was plastered on the wall of mall security...
sigh, memories of my youth....
SO LET ME TEACH YOU HOW TO "MAKE FRIENDS"!!! (cause ya know, you can't live a full life until you know how to do this!)