So, quickly...this is a quick shout out to a good friend (with great calves) whom started reading my blog today!
HI HOLLIE!!!!!!!
this posts may seem pointless...but guess what...I enjoy making them
Hi Hollie,
Wonderful being friends with you! You and I share many traits in common... I would list them but frankly i can not at this point in time...how rather anticlimactic...but i give you these words of advice...
Anyway...more posts coming soon...HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!
Cheers, Salute, Chin Chin!!!
An honest, awesome, funny, brilliant, inspirational, light hearted, joking, angry, and drunken view on life written by a normal guy named Matteo Torre. Matteo's only goal in life is to impart his wisdom and to show that a guy who suffers from the "anything that will happen...will happen to me" syndrome can write about the world and how he survives it with life’s 4 most necessary gifts; anger, humor, shadiness, and alcohol
Showing posts with label keep calm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label keep calm. Show all posts
Friday, September 28, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
POST NUMERO 32: The Leasing of Furniture
Alright so,
Firstly…I came to the realization last night that I never used a GOOD friend's code name in really any post...so to make up for it.... I am going to
just write it 10 times…so she knows I care:
Judie Judie Judie Judie Judie Judie Judie Judie (not even her real name)
Tonight I went to Judie and Lens house and OH BOY! What a
fun time. Whenever we get together it is always a fun time (reread the post
about going night swimming down the shore and how we were almost “naaaaked and
arrestedddd” ). There was a tornado warning and it stormed like a bitch. I drove 20 miles an hour and while stopping into the liquer store to buy supplies for the evening the cashier asked me what the weather was like outside (I was so wet and windblown that my clothes were see through)
Anyway, a few hours with them always does the mind good and
I always learn many things…
Firstly…how nice it is to reconnect with old friends…so I saw
a friend I have not seen since last year around this time…it is not that we
have not tried to get together but her and I have not exactly had the easiest of
schedules to incorporate “friendly bonding/bitching time”. Her name is Zucchini
(this is a COMPLETE codename…basically, being that I suck with names, the first
time I met her I completely and totally forgot her name…a name that is mighty
exotic and amazing…so I thought she said Zucchini and I referred to her as such
for months until I was finally corrected). Anyway she is kind of awesome and I
just enjoy her company…So readers…I challenge you to go and find a friend and
reconnect and just go for it because it is a fun fuuuuuuuuuun time.
Secondly... So amongst the group we get into meaningless
conversations about growing up…tonight’s conversation revolved around an
obscure financial burden that comes along with growing up. This obscure financial
burden revolves around, “Leasing Furniture”.
I understand why people do lease furniture.
I have never leased furniture nor do I think I could because
I need the security of knowing the couch I accidently keep drooling on is
completely mine. However, it was hilarious hearing Judie, Len, and Zucchini swap
stories. I have heard of leasing cars but NEVER furniture (Damn that fucking “life
bubble” I grew up in). Do I really want to be paying off an ottoman for the
rest of my life. So, how do I explain leasing furniture in my opinion…alright
so I think leasing furniture is fine but what the real issue is (and we decided
this amongst the group) is the hilarity of having to pay the bill. I mean think
about it…you go and get the mail…you look through it…phone bill, cable bill,
water bill, electric bill, and then you come to the envelope that tells you
that the pillows on your reclining Lazyboy sectional are not technically yours
yet or paid for yet. Think about it readers…all those bills and then the cherry
on the top of the sundae which is a bill detailing the pending price of the
object more then likely your ass is sitting on at that moment. I don’t know why
I find it so funny. Plus, think about this…you can’t make the payments…what
happens next…the furniture store comes and repossess a couch…CRAP…where will I
sleep when I have arguments with my future wife (psh…we all know I am dieing
alone and now I am also dieing couchless...). I feel like I need to create a
Mafia to enforce the rules of leasing furniture…a secret underground taskforce
to make sure people are paying off their couches, tables, and beds.
I picture the people dressed all in black coming to the door
and saying things like, “ You didn’t pay this month…and if you can’t pay for the
couch…then you're getting the ouch"
Cheers! Salute! Chin Chin!!
More Posts coming Soon!!
Labels:
Aunt Oona,
brain,
bucket list,
bug spray,
funny,
future best sellers,
goldfish,
google,
Kayla Zegar,
keep calm,
Leasing,
matteo torre,
tales from the bottom of a shot glass,
yahoo,
yolo
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
POST NUMERO 22.1: Quick Message
Oh I forgot, here is just a quick personalized shout out comprised of false names, and lack of detail!
DEAR MORGAN & LAURA,
REMEMBER ALWAYS, THAT BITCHES BE BITCHES!...AND THAT BITCHES AIN'T SHIT!
SINCERELY,
MATTEO
I will explain "Bitches ain't shit" in another post!
cheers, salute, chin chin!!!
DEAR MORGAN & LAURA,
REMEMBER ALWAYS, THAT BITCHES BE BITCHES!...AND THAT BITCHES AIN'T SHIT!
SINCERELY,
MATTEO
I will explain "Bitches ain't shit" in another post!
cheers, salute, chin chin!!!
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