POST NUMERO 13: Shame and the Fetal Position

One of my many social quirks is that I have an overwhelming sense of shame and embarrassment. Wait, let me rephrase…I don’t have a sense of shame but I do have an overwhelming sense of shame when others are experiencing shame (did that make sense). If someone says something for which they should be embarrassed I take it upon myself to feel their missing shame. Growing up, I couldn't watch awkward coming of age shows and movies. I could not stand around while crap went down. When someone was embarrassed it was as if the muscles in my extremities would start to suffer from shakiness and lock up...then BAM fetal position.

I felt the same way in class when some students would feel the need to go off the given topic into personal stories that are either too personal or have little to no relevance to the topic at hand. I mean, it is common to have normal conversation...stray away from the topic slightly...but when all of a sudden the person having conversation throws in something incredibly personal about leading a terrible life…it would make me cringe...then BAM fetal position...

For Example...in Math Class…

Me: I think that x=3
Student: He is wrong…x=4…and speaking of wrong, once I was snorting lines of an unknown substance off an underage prostitute while simultaneously running guns for a Colombian cartel group which led them to beating their wives and screaming at their children…then I drag raced haphazardly…

Me: I still think that x=3

In case anyone cares…the answer was 4…damn math

I don’t encourage people to share past transgressions because hearing your life makes my ears go numb and I don’t like feeling shame that is not mine. When someone decides to do that, my natural reaction is to feel embarrassed for them. I put my head in between my knees and rock back and forth until my someone taps me on the back and tells me it's over.

Ok…so…today was alright…thank for your private messages readers! I feel somewhat better and will probably be better in about a day or so (my uncontrollable fever crying has subsided). I could not take off from work which I am sure would have helped…I have drank so many liquids and none of them have been alcohol (I finally know what cranberry juice tastes like…with out the vodka)

CHEERS, SALUTE, CHIN CHIN!

POST NUMERO 11: Mother's Day and Falò success!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY READERS!!!! Ok so I am starting this post off with a thank you to ALL mothers…and the most important one ever…Mine!

So My mother is the best…she has taught me how to be strong, how to be caring, how to be a dreamer…she has never spoiled me and taught me to be dedicated in order to achieve my goals, she disciplined me to the core (wooden spoon…great for stirring a pot & a quick hit), and she is always there even when I least expect it.

How to explain my mother… in essence she may look like the epitome of an overbearing Italian mother…yet, she is SO MUCH more then meets the eye!

In her five foot five stature she is the most intimidating person most people have ever met. She one time made my Middle School Principal Cry. One day I will write more about her…But Happy Mother’s Day Mom…Love you! And To all the women in my life, I wish you all a HAPPY MOTHERS DAY. I am honored by your presence in my life!

Ok…that brief moment of having a heart is over now…Love you Mamma! (I promise you readers that I have a whole post dedicated to describing my family coming up soon)

so...so...true....HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!

The falò was freaking success!!!! However my beer had some crazy things going on with it (story to follow)…and In exciting drinking news…I managed to find the LAST cans of Jeremiah’s Weed with in the tritown area…this is not exageration…the man at the liquor store had to root through boxes of stuff in order to find the drink of summer! The perfect time in the woods…smell of fire…fancy spanish sausages cooked over a falò fire…amazing….and so fancy… There is just something to be said about a chill night with friends around a roaring someky fire.

Plus…friends with rum and sausgae….add a new level into everything

So I challenge you readers to have a chill night with friends…no going out…put a movie on…play a board game…put on a movie…

I sound like a shut in but in honesty I wayed the cost of everything and the fun I had and wow…it was hands down a win!

Ok so the beer I bought last night had various different label designs made by famous artists…mine read this…

“Don’t Forget you’re here forever”…
how creepy and awkward is that? I apologize for the lack of updates recently...been busy enjoying the weather!...I think I owe you readers about six posts for staying loyal!

CHEERS, SALUTE, CHIN CHIN!

OH THANK YOU RUSSIA FOR BEING MY SECOND BIGGEST FOLLOWING COUNTRY!...thanks to google translate here is what I have to say to you:

Спасибо за чтение его!!!

ALSO! Happy Graduation to some amazing people...this goes out to Samantha R., Jackie C, and all those other friends whom are amazing!

POST NUMERO 6.2: Self Done Haircuts and Bonfire Fever

I said I was going to do three...


SO with this that makes three for today!!

Do you have fire building skills? Because I am in the mood for a bonfire! It is way over due and about time for a nice warm night and an outdoor event…my blood is boiling for one. Sadly, it has been wet outside and even if the day is warm it seems to get rather brisk and slightly uncomfortable out by nighttime. The last time I went to an outdoorish “get together” was at my friend Joe’s house a few weeks back. It was a very nice evening with wine and a bonfire. I stayed outside for most the night because it was a beautiful night. Outside with me, around the fire, were two very good friends and we talked about, how German is a harsh yet awesome language, how Europeans are very touchy and hold onto people’s thighs when talking, and also how every church has a relic in their alter and it might be something like a nipple.

Good Memories…this is a crappy third post but I have only a few minutes to complete it and fill my 3 today goal!

WHAT ELSE! OH I HAD CEREAL AND GAVE MYSELF A HAIRCUT!...I usually do fine with self done haircuts but this time I went a little over board and have some very very short parts…but what ever…it will grow back…and I needed to cut my hair short for safety purposes
Sunday Funday was not that exciting this time around! New week tomorrow…

CHEERS! SALUTE! CHIN CHIN!

Oh on a “I have become obsessive” note…for some reason a large white space has decided to wedge itself in between post number 6.1 and 6…I am angered by this and it is causing me to go compulsive and try and fix it…however I am unsuccessful! DAMN YOU WHITE SPACE!!!

Post Numero 6.1: Dirty Piñatas and Being Nice at Work

NEWS OF THE DAY: I am going for three posts today to make up for the lack of them from the last few nights....I will wait till summer comes to be lazy and not post...

Firstly, I am not the hardest working person in the world…I believe that working excessively hard can kill a person…work leads to stress…stress leads to becoming unhealthy…being unhealthy leads to death…death leads to…um…well death.

easy terms:  work = death

I do enjoy working however....starting this new job has already put me into a very stressful daily grind. Doing the same thing over and over again, to a point where I'm really tired and questioning, "WHAT am I doing here?"

One thing that is bothering me is when people say things like…”Psh, you can’t complain…you have only worked here a month!” or “You can’t complain till you have worked here for 9 years!”

Comments like that are a HUGE pet peeve of mine. OH, I WILL COMPLAIN!  I WILL BE WITTY!  I WILL DISLIKE EVERYTHING!! And if I could…I WOULD KICK YOU IN THE FACE!!

So Readers, being that it is a new work week, look around your workplace and take some pity on the “new guy” at work…If anything you have had 9 years (or whatever) to get used to the job, to bitch and moan, and also to get to know everyone.

Secondly, yesterday was Cinco De Mayo (OLE!) and I went out briefly, drank “some” tequila (OLE!)  in a sombrero (OLE!), and then apparently came home and wrote a blog entry about “teeth jewelry” (OLE?) which now that I reread might be offensive to someone who actually does make accessories out of teeth…so if you are one of my good friends or a stranger and you DO make jewelry out of teeth…please never tell me…ever…I don’t even think it would be capable for me to gauge that amount of creepiness and I might just collapse from “Judgement Overload”. When I returned home from the traditional Cinco De Mayo celebration (OLE!) I got into a conversation with my friend Catalina/Kathleen about what we would put into our dream/dirty Piñata…a tradition I have actually experienced:

            Definition:

Dirty Piñata: noun: “plaything” consisting of a container filled with “toys”, and “candy”; suspended from a height for blindfolded adults to break with sticks and blunt objects. (the “ “ make it all the dirtier)

My Piñata would be filled with:

-"little" bottles of Tequila, and various other alcohol

-cigarettes 

-lighters

-gum 

-mints and other candy

-toothpaste and toothbrushes

-gummy bears

-glow sticks

-bubbles

-condoms

-bags of sunchips

-nutella, nutella, nutella, and more nutella

Careful, this piñata is filled with Strippers, Booze, and Bad Decisions

Leave me some messages about what you would put in your Piñata (whether dirty or clean)...would love to know...

Anyway it is Sunday, and Sunday for Matteo means two things…Church, and Honey Bunches of Oats! I am going for a goal of posting 3 things today! Tomorrow Kayla Comes BACK!!!!!!!!!! (so very excited for my cray-cray best friend to come home and also expect some epic changes to the blog because of her genius)
SALUTE! CHEERS! CHIN CHIN!!!

Side note:
Currently talking to my amazingly beautiful and talented British Friend and asked her for inspiration on what I should write about…this is the conversation:
Matteo: Be my inspiration! what should I write about today?

British: yay :D

Matteo: ermmmmm

British: a romance

Isn't she lovely! She is going to be famous someday! However, she obviously does not realize that I don’t have a romantic bone in me (remember from my “about me” post, I have as much game/love as a rain canceled baseball tournament)…I will tell you more about her also in later posts