Showing posts with label cinco de mayo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cinco de mayo. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

POST NUMERO 38.5: IT'S GONNA BE MAY!


Haha...this was the photo that started it all on this blog...or one of them...
Oh, and a year ago today I started this blog...sooooo TALES FROM THE BOTTOM OF A SHOT GLASS TURNS 1 TODAY!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTEO TORRE!
I am going out to celebrate...later readers!

Anyway, More Posts Coming Soon
Keep Emailing me your suggestions…

READ, SHARE, and ENJOY
CHEERS, SALUTE, CHIN CHIN! 

LIGHT IT UP BLUE FOR AUTISM!! 


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

POST NUMERO 31.2: Whoops, Black Out advice


WOW! I forgot a huge thing from my last crappy post!

I forgot to add one more AMAZING way of surviving a black out...in fact this might be one of the most positive and beneficial survival tips:

RED WINE DOES NOT NEED TO BE REFRIGERATED

Yes, that is right...when bad weather hits...and everything in the refrigerator starts to head south...just remember that most liquor never really goes bad...and most does not require refrigeration!
So next time bad weather is on its way...stock up!
free gif maker
It's a good thing...
Blacking out does have numerous meanings after all!

More Posts Coming Soon
Calendar Post Coming Soon
HOLIDAYS COMING SOON!!!

CHEERS, SALUTE, CHIN CHIN!!



Tuesday, May 8, 2012

POST NUMERO 8: DOT DOT DOT

Happy Tequila Tuesday!

So, someone private messaged me to tell me I use “waaaay” to many “” in my writing and it makes it seem like I am “out of breath” so he/she decided that it was annoying and I should stop with the

So here is what I have to say to that:
Ok, thank you for the feed backit’s justso hard...sowhat are the words I am trying to find?you knowI am tryingsheeshthe words are so hard to findreaders, you knowI really likeusingthe dot dot dotit is justI just love it so muchsosomuch

^If you did not notice what I just did above, then obviously we could never be friends. Ok, so I openly admitted in my first post ever that I am basically a crap writer. I actually get anxiety when I post these things because I feel like nothing in my writing makes any sense. I really just do what is comfortable for me, which includes writing in the most casu-freakin-al way possible!

PLUS private messenger, How do you know I am not writing when I am breathless…in fact I always write these posts when I am sprinting on the treadmill or having an asthma attack…it gives me inspiration!! (and really firms up my Glutes)

So. Let me just say…
I like “” a lot
I like exclamation points
I do not know how to spell
Grammar is not my forte
But I still keep typing!
however...
I would love to keep typing but can not the pollen count is so high that my eyes feel like they are going to fall out!

HAPPY NEWS HOWEVER! BIG CHANGES SHOULD BE HAPPENING TO THE BLOG SOON!! NEW LAYOUT! NEW PICTURES!!! WHYYYY YOU MAY ASK!?! Kayla is home...home for summer!!!


CHEERS! SALUTE! CHIN CHIN!! So, it may not have been the most interesting post...but I promise more are coming!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

POST NUMERO 6.2: Self Done Haircuts and Bonfire Fever

I said I was going to do three...


SO with this that makes three for today!!

Do you have fire building skills? Because I am in the mood for a bonfire! It is way over due and about time for a nice warm night and an outdoor event…my blood is boiling for one. Sadly, it has been wet outside and even if the day is warm it seems to get rather brisk and slightly uncomfortable out by nighttime. The last time I went to an outdoorish “get together” was at my friend Joe’s house a few weeks back. It was a very nice evening with wine and a bonfire. I stayed outside for most the night because it was a beautiful night. Outside with me, around the fire, were two very good friends and we talked about, how German is a harsh yet awesome language, how Europeans are very touchy and hold onto people’s thighs when talking, and also how every church has a relic in their alter and it might be something like a nipple.
Good Memories…this is a crappy third post but I have only a few minutes to complete it and fill my 3 today goal!
WHAT ELSE! OH I HAD CEREAL AND GAVE MYSELF A HAIRCUT!...I usually do fine with self done haircuts but this time I went a little over board and have some very very short parts…but what ever…it will grow back…and I needed to cut my hair short for safety purposes
Sunday Funday was not that exciting this time around! New week tomorrow…

CHEERS! SALUTE! CHIN CHIN!

Oh on a “I have become obsessive” note…for some reason a large white space has decided to wedge itself in between post number 6.1 and 6…I am angered by this and it is causing me to go compulsive and try and fix it…however I am unsuccessful! DAMN YOU WHITE SPACE!!!

Post Numero 6.1: Dirty Piñatas and Being Nice at Work

NEWS OF THE DAY: I am going for three posts today to make up for the lack of them from the last few nights....I will wait till summer comes to be lazy and not post...

Firstly, I am not the hardest working person in the world…I believe that working excessively hard can kill a person…work leads to stress…stress leads to becoming unhealthy…being unhealthy leads to death…death leads to…um…well death.
easy terms:  work = death
I do enjoy working however....starting this new job has already put me into a very stressful daily grind. Doing the same thing over and over again, to a point where I'm really tired and questioning, "WHAT am I doing here?"
One thing that is bothering me is when people say things like…”Psh, you can’t complain…you have only worked here a month!” or “You can’t complain till you have worked here for 9 years!
Comments like that are a HUGE pet peeve of mine. OH, I WILL COMPLAIN!  I WILL BE WITTY!  I WILL DISLIKE EVERYTHING!! And if I could…I WOULD KICK YOU IN THE FACE!!
So Readers, being that it is a new work week, look around your workplace and take some pity on the “new guy” at work…If anything you have had 9 years (or whatever) to get used to the job, to bitch and moan, and also to get to know everyone.

Secondly, yesterday was Cinco De Mayo (OLE!) and I went out briefly, drank “some” tequila (OLE!)  in a sombrero (OLE!), and then apparently came home and wrote a blog entry about “teeth jewelry” (OLE?) which now that I reread might be offensive to someone who actually does make accessories out of teeth…so if you are one of my good friends or a stranger and you DO make jewelry out of teeth…please never tell me…ever…I don’t even think it would be capable for me to gauge that amount of creepiness and I might just collapse from “Judgement Overload”. When I returned home from the traditional Cinco De Mayo celebration (OLE!) I got into a conversation with my friend Catalina/Kathleen about what we would put into our dream/dirty Piñata…a tradition I have actually experienced:
            Definition:
Dirty Piñata: noun: “plaything” consisting of a container filled with “toys”, and “candy”; suspended from a height for blindfolded adults to break with sticks and blunt objects. (the make it all the dirtier)

My Piñata would be filled with:
-"little" bottles of Tequila, and various other alcohol
-cigarettes 
-lighters
-gum 
-mints and other candy
-toothpaste and toothbrushes
-gummy bears
-glow sticks
-bubbles
-condoms
-bags of sunchips
-nutella, nutella, nutella, and more nutella
Careful, this piñata is filled with Strippers, Booze, and Bad Decisions
Leave me some messages about what you would put in your Piñata (whether dirty or clean)...would love to know...
Anyway it is Sunday, and Sunday for Matteo means two things…Church, and Honey Bunches of Oats! I am going for a goal of posting 3 things today! Tomorrow Kayla Comes BACK!!!!!!!!!! (so very excited for my cray-cray best friend to come home and also expect some epic changes to the blog because of her genius)
SALUTE! CHEERS! CHIN CHIN!!!

Side note:
Currently talking to my amazingly beautiful and talented British Friend and asked her for inspiration on what I should write about…this is the conversation:
Matteo: Be my inspiration! what should I write about today?
British: yay :D
Matteo: ermmmmm
British: a romance


Isn't she lovely! She is going to be famous someday! However, she obviously does not realize that I don’t have a romantic bone in me (remember from my “about me” post, I have as much game/love as a rain canceled baseball tournament)…I will tell you more about her also in later posts

Saturday, May 5, 2012

POST NUMERO 6: Blogs about Teeth?!?!

It has been a very loooooong week….

So, I am trying to write a blog entry before I go to bed each night…and have failed twice… I usually start in the afternoon with some random and half assed ideas…but midway through I usually delete all of it and just start again on a different topic. I am slowly realizing it is not easy to write something every night and I want this blog to be entertaining and satisfying enough for anyone to stumble upon (a.k.a I don’t want my posts to be crap)…

However, It is all rather cathartic and I like this blogging concept so far...however... I look at some of the other blogs and go…wow…how does anyone find this interesting...

For example:
What kind of WIERDASS PERSON created the blog dedicated to turning and preserving your children’s baby teeth into “wearable” jewelry.
HOW HORRIFYING IS THAT!
The first step in the process (according to the blog) was, “Procure some teeth from your baby”…
I would love to meet a person who actually has done this…who has stolen the teeth from underneath the pillow and been like..
Listen Johnny…the tooth fairy won’t be coming tonight because Mommy needs your teeth to complete her baby teeth necklace and matching bracelet

Plus who is really wearing these things...if my future kids came to me with a necklace covered in teeth and wanted me to wear it I would start looking for "special doctors" and boarding schools right away. Plus, I know if I saw someone with human teeth on them as an accessory I would flip out...blech! Just gross. gross. gross....look how gross they are...

I image searched "teeth jewelry" and became so disgusted that instead of inflicting you with that horrible image here is a picture of a puppy....

Speaking of teeth…did anyone ever lose a tooth in a weird fashion…did any of you grow up with the “string and doorknob” method…teeth gross me out…

So the long week came to a much needed relaxing conclusion…going over to a good friend’s house to relax and get out of the house. The events of this past week brought me to the snapping point for many reasons (this job is making me rethink everything). I owe my friend a lot and a great deal of gratitude. I am promising a lot of “blog time” to them in future posts. Before I go into detail about them I have to ask if they want code names….
Plus, when I ask for “Vodka in a Glass” these friends actually know I am NOT kidding and to put “Vodka in a Glass”…or better yet they preface it with…”Should I just bring out the Bottle”…I am blessed to have them.

Quote of the Night for Friday:
AB: "Oh I just did an Essay on that!"
MT: "On, Giving Up??"

SO, readers (all 120 of you...and my 3 favorite readers from Germany) if my blog is turning into crap...tell me...and also give me some topics...Matteo Loves to Rant!!!

I will work harder on formulating some ideas (unlike this half assed entry dedicated to teeth)...CINCO DE MAYO BABY! Tequila is a formidable opponent for me...

SALUTE! CHEERS! CHIN CHIN! and...in honor of Cinco De Mayo...OLE!!!