Ok...So this isn't the longest amount of time I have been
away...but still I apologize for the lagging nature of my posts...I hope I am
not THAT big of a let down…but believe me…I am awesome either way! So, this
post is not really a post but rather I am trying to clean up some of the pages
in my book… Purge some of the pages, condense my random doodles, and delete some
of my crap so that way I can start fresh and clean with no more half pages (I
freaking hate HALF PAGES!).
To catch you up quickly…it has been a shit show around here…no
great stories or details. No big life changing events. Just me being me. Here
are the things you missed out on in the span I was gone:
1) The
cicadas arrived
2) The
cicadas left
3) I
finally enjoy Seltzer Water (vodka helped)
4) My
garden has grown into a Basil Wonderland
5) I
bought new jeans that I hope will not become crotchless anytime soon (huge accomplishment)
6) I
decided to give up my summer and work all year long (I hate this entirely)
7) I
was reunited with my best friend
8) I
made a new friend
9) I
learned the TRUE reason of why I DO NOT have “Heat Vision”
10) I have
watched the following films on repeat because they are constantly on HBO,
a. The
Dark Knight Rises
b. Pitch
Perfect
c. All
the Scream Movies (1 and 4 being my Favorite ones)
d. The
Lizzie McGuire Movie
WOW, my exciting life!!!
Anyway, biggest thing to take away currently is that I am
working the summer session so I truly don’t get a break and I have been really
pissed off about not getting to enjoy summer in the ways I normally do.
So as I said…here are some random posts I started but did
not finish...clearing out my writing closet!
For example…I don’t remember when I wrote this or what gave
me the idea…but here is a short list of:
Terrible Children’s Book Ideas
-
Pushing and Shoving and 98 other Games to play on the
Jungle Gym
-
The Milkman is your Daddy
-
John Jumped on the Bed with The Ceiling Fan On
-
Everything is a Toy…how to use your imagination to make
the most fun out of knives, matches, and what is locked in the cabinet
-
Welcome to the Tea Party Mr. Dahmer
-
Lizzie Borden’s Tool Time
-
Bullies have all the Fun
-
Fire, Fire, Burn
-
Vegetables are Gross, Fruits are Grosser
-
Your Parents Love You…but not as much as they should
-
Rule Breakers Rule
-
Crime for Children
-
Mommy Loves You, by Satan Loves you More
-
Goodnight Moon, Goodbye Enemies
-
All Animals are Friendly
-
Sharing is for Losers
-
Racial Slurs A-Z
Another half finished Post... I don’t know what day this was…but I do remember the incident
and where it happened.:
" Anyway, Story of the Day…
Sometimes I really can’t stand people. I KNOW I make commentary
all the time and I try to censor myself…but some people are just sooooo stupid
with the things they say.
Here is my example for the Day:
I am waiting in line at the store (guess what I was buying…
the answer ryhmes with “falcahol”) and I allowed the woman who was in back of me
to skip ahead of me while I located my wallet. She was struggling to get stuff
out of her cart so I decided to help her out and aide her to lift her stuff out
of the cart. She said nothing and stared at me.
I am not going to lie, I was expecting a “thank you” and was
thinking that she was just building up the courage to tell me what a fine
respectable young man I am…but you know what I got instead…
::drum roll::
“You look like this terrorist I saw on the news…”
Yes…you read that right…the woman I just helped…Likened my resemblance
to a “terrorist”…
However, in her defense, it was not an accusation…She did it completely dead pan, with a great deal of disinterest. I was
shocked!…
What she said is the equivalent of someone sneezing and
instead of saying “bless you” saying,
“WOW, you look like Jeffery Dahmer” "
And Finally...another random half finished post...I think this one was written relatively recently:
" So, Firstly…thank you everyone (including my coworkers) for
the amazing feed back on my last post. I wrote it from the bottom of my teeny
tiny little heart (I know I have one way deep down inside underneath all the
anger). It was the only way I could think of where I could unleash some of my
thoughts in a easy manner. I am kind of drained from last night!
Anyway, it is Sunday…it has been a LONG week and an
EXTREMELY short weekend…Three birthdays, visiting family and friends, tons of
work, and constantly studying for two REALLY important tests…I miss when
Sundays meant Cereal (Honey Bunches of Oats) and Church…now, Sunday means me
crying in the fetal position on top of a book and Church! Hooray!
I am going to pick a random topic out of my hat…
The first piece of paper I pulled out says the word “Cheese”
and the second one says “Music”…haha this is why I never use the hat…
CHEESE:
I find it amazing how much cheese people eat when it is
cubed or on a tray…people will literally eat a block of cheese without
realizing and with little effort. For some reason the fact of how it is square
and has a toothpick sticking out of it negates the fact of how every cube is a
piece of a bigger brick of cheese…
I love cheese.
MUSIC:
I have not used my CD player in a long looooooooooong time.
However, the other day I found some old CDs I had burned myself. I was overcome
by curiosity and had to listen to what, “Matteo’s Summer 2005 Italia Beats”
contained. Long Story Short, my taste in music in the year 2005 was banging!!!
I was impressed that I could remember all the lyrics and I may or may not have
Eiffel65 as my ring tone currently…yes, that is the same band that sung “I'm Blue (Da
Ba Dee Da Ba Die” (go ahead and YouTube it…you know you want to) "
It feels good to clean out some of these pages...
Anyway, More Posts Coming Soon
Keep Emailing me your suggestions…
READ, SHARE, and ENJOY
CHEERS, SALUTE, CHIN CHIN!
